Ryan

Thu, 08 May 2003 00:55:18 GMT

Last night, I resurrected the Mac (and it is from there that I now write..) with some new RAM and MacOSX. It is truly a sight to behold - such pretty colors. While the install was running, I cleaned out my office closet and in the process, found a cutout of the first letter I ever wrote to the Battalion. The idea that I was idealistic and outraged enough at someone's comments to actually sit down and write a letter about it is, at this point, extremely amusing to me in light of the fact that 90% of the folks I work with continually joke about the same topic and I don't even bat an eyelash. But it's such a feckless exercise to get mad at a crowd. At that point, you're the crazy guy. One day I'd like to work somewhere not inhabited by so many goddamn Promise Keepers.

This morning, I watched an entire room of people get irate because the post office workers were not servicing customers quickly enough. How can sane adults get mad at the post office? It's like screaming at traffic - it just raises your blood pressure. It isn't like they're going to go any faster - they're not paid to. I guess it's been awhile since someone umm.. "went postal" - customers are getting ornery again. When the lady behind the counter asked if there was "any packages" she could get for someone, an older gentlemen responded with "no, but you could get more counter people". I prepared to dart under the nearest table, but the postal lady placidly responded with "sir, they're on their way". Perhaps, in the upper reaches of the postal service management, there's a shadowy meeting to choose an employee to push over the edge. I would think those employees would be highly regarded by upper management. "Reports of irate customers are up, sir.." "Perhaps it's time for another 'incident'?" "Is there anyone available for... asencion?" "I've prepared these candidates.. *thump of personnel files of 'unbalanced' employees*" "Excellent.." The vast conspiracy of the postal service lives on!

I wonder if Carnegie Mellon will actually reject me, instead of just passive-aggresively not sending me an admission offer. "He'll figure out we don't want him.." No goddamn it! You're gonna spend that $.37 and tell me "no". Using a similar rationale of the post-"giving a woman my phone number" situation, maybe I'll go down and stare at the mailbox.

oh yeah, livejournal.

Tue, 06 May 2003 05:02:35 GMT

Okay, so it's been awhile. What's going on? Well, hmmm.. first of all, my job sucks. And not even in some definable, "my boss hates me" kind of way. It's just been one thing after another - bad projects, 30 % layoffs in April, getting screamed out once too many times, mentors who think they are my father. I'm currently seeking opportunities elsewhere, but as the friends who were laid off and still seeking employment can attest to, they ain't easy to find. But alas, I still have a "good job", and I know more people who don't have one than do.

I did finally get into a graduate school somewhere - Univ of Wisconsin Madison. Affording out of state tuition is another matter, though. All of this trial and tribulation on these "my parents would love it if I did it" paths has led me to resolve to spend the summer writing and taking lots of pictures.

And then there's our country's political situation, and, and, and, and.... goddammit! Dawson's Creek is ending!

Such hostility in my writing. Positive things... think positively. 90210 is having a reunion, and the Gilmore Girls is still going strong. I thought that Rory's getting into Harvard, Yale and Princeton was purely an idealized fabrication and people like that really didn't exist. (The more likely thing is that I just don't want them to exist) Then I read this article. Harvard, Stanford, Duke, Princeton or Cornell.. decisions, decisions as they say. Maybe Tracy Flick moved from Omaha to New Jersey.

In other news, I completely kicked ass during piano guild auditions and I am now officially a registered pianist. I think Natalie and I are going to drive East this year - through the cradle of the civil war, I'm going to Graceland. I'm currently reading "The Public Burning" by Robert Coover - crazy book. Anyone who decides to use Richard Nixon as a narrator has not only a wicked sense of humor, but just plain balls.

Hmmm.. that's about all I can think of, and well, it's getting late. Hopefully updates will come more frequently.

what the hell..

Wed, 10 Jul 2002 03:03:59 GMT

reminds you of an ex-lover: "When I'm sixty-four" -- The Beatles
reminds you of an ex-friend: "The Legend of Woolly Swamp" -- Charlie Daniels Band
makes you cry: "Black Books" -- Nils Lofgrin (doesn't anymore, was just a situational thing the first time I heard it)
makes you laugh: "Hanging out with the Horny Girls" -- The Scabs
makes you wanna dance: "Kalifornia" -- Fatboy Slim (makes me wanna drive really damn fast, too)
reminds you of the one you want: "Perfect" -- Smashing Pumpkins
reminds you of the one you love: "Graceland" -- Paul Simon
you wish you wrote: "Cold blooded old times" -- Smog
you never want to hear again: "Who Let the Dogs Out" -- Baha Men
you want to get married to: god, I have no idea. Something by Bach.
makes you want to mosh/bang your head: "She's the One" -- Beta Band (which makes me want to bob my head up and down more than mosh)
sums up your teenage years: Not too many songs about socially awkward golfers. I think I listened to "Bust a Move" -- Young MC about a 100,000 times, though.
you used to hate but now love: "Heroin" -- The Velvet Underground
you like to wake up to: "You can't always get what you want" -- The Rolling Stones
you like out of your parents record collection: "Ball and Chain" -- Janis Joplin
you love that you wouldn't know about if it wasn't for a friend: "The Humpty Dumpty Love Song" -- Travis
makes you think of someone who died: "American Pie" -- Don McLean (*groan* what a cheesy choice)
you love the video more than the tune: "Respect Yourself" -- Madonna (I think this video brought on puberty for me)
reminds you of your first crush: "Pour some sugar on me" -- Def Leppard
you love which is from your favourite movie: "Werewolves of London" -- Warren Zevon from The Color of Money
makes you think of the moon: "Man on the Moon" -- REM
makes you think of stars: "Six Stars" -- Haywood
makes you think of the sun: "The Sun King" -- The Beatles
makes you think of the night: "State Trooper" -- The Cowboy Junkies (actually a Bruce Springsteen song, though)
makes you think of sex: "Enjoy" -- Bjork
makes you think of being alone: "Soma" -- Smashing Pumpkins
you love to hear at clubs: It's been so long since I've been to a club that doesn't play complete shit.
has only been released recently but you love already: "When I was Cruel No. 2" -- Elvis Costello

Sat, 15 Jun 2002 05:44:03 GMT

so it's been awhile since I lj'd. my last post was a little too.. depressing. but let's see -- alot's happened since then. in no particular chronological order : After a 14 year hiatus, I've finally gotten back to playing Mozart on the piano. (yea!) I work for a fucking calculator company again. (bah!) I have a girlfriend again. (yea!) My mother went to hospital with heart trouble on valentine's day. (bah!) I went back to NYC and finally made it to the Whitney. (yea!) I've gone into semi-retirement from teaching. (sort of both yea! and bah!) I can play 10 chords on the guitar. (yea!) I found my missing Liz Phair CD. (yea!) It looks like I'm finally going to make the long considered road trip to South Dakota. (yea!) I discovered Wilco. (yea!) I think that's more yea!s than bah!s -- cool.

Sun, 27 Jan 2002 19:20:24 GMT

I went to dinner with a friend from Dallas last night, and the ghosts came back.

Run to the light Carol Anne...

Fri, 25 Jan 2002 05:52:26 GMT

Just got back from the Strokes concert. Much better live than their album suggests. It was at the Aerial Theater, which is fairly lame, but on the bright side, is very well air conditioned.

My ears are ringin' like hell, but hey, it cuts the silence in my apartment.

Thu, 24 Jan 2002 06:01:54 GMT

Between work and school, my brain is now officially mush. *drool* *staring blankly at screen*

On the bright side, my students seemed to actually learn tonight... maybe I can actually teach.

it's 8pm and where is your engineer?

Wed, 23 Jan 2002 02:24:00 GMT

Answer : at work.

Since I have no cable, and my PC is dead anyway, my office is probably the safest place for my mind to inhabit. I have the stuffed frog hung in effigy to protect me from the evils that exist outside my office door. OUT OUT damned memories!

I need to actually do my review for this year (to hopefully fend off the lay-off genie on the 'HP horizon'), as well as return a call from my parents, but my mind is caught in a halcyonic loop about the "way she brushed her hair from her forehead". (where's my cynical laser when it's needed.. DIE DIE hair brushing!)

Anyway, all work and no play makes someone into an engineer. God, I'm grumpy today. And according to the ginky Care Bear link, I'm supposedly 'Cheer Bear'.. what does that mean? My inner 'glow' shining through? I'm a lying bastard on web forms? I'm really more a kind of laundry detergent?.. More at 11 (no, really.)

okay, I should look where I'm typing.

Tue, 22 Jan 2002 01:11:49 GMT

That was an incredibly lame post..

As I was saying, I spent the day looking for a guitar. Also, this morning, via plastic, I re-located my favorite curmudgeon -- Polly.

tommorrow.. work again. I start a new project, and somehow by starting this project I feel as if I'm committing myself to 9 more months in Houston. But I took it to try and excise psychological demons through hard work -- a strategy that hasn't worked great in the past. I could always go back to drinking and learning to chain smoke.

Tue, 22 Jan 2002 01:04:56 GMT

I spent my day off crusin' Houston lookin' for a guitar. I found one, but I need to re-evaluate my financial situation before I buy it.

Rock around the Bach!

Mon, 21 Jan 2002 08:41:36 GMT

I just now muddled my way through Minuet #2 in G for the first time. Didn't pause at all (for any discernable amount of time, anyway.. ).

Finally my teacher will quit rapping my knuckles with a ruler (at least about this piece.. Minuet #3's a fucking bitch.)

Mon, 21 Jan 2002 08:19:45 GMT

I lost $10 at poker tonight. Apparently a flush doesn't beat a full house, no matter how much Crown and Coke I've had.

*yawn*

No email from seemingly interested parties all weekend. damn.

digital numbness..

Sun, 20 Jan 2002 15:18:15 GMT

Hmmm.. what the fuck to do today? More importantly, why am I up so early?

In order to further my music education, I attempted to learn
guitar on Friday night. Somewhere in the middle of making G chords, I think I seriously screwed up my index finger. It's as if the tip doesn't really exist anymore. Of course, the ulterior motive for learning the guitar is to get laid, but I don't know if losing the tip of index finger is worth it. (what am I thinking? Of course it's worth it!)

Sun, 20 Jan 2002 05:46:38 GMT

I spent the entire day out of the apartment. Considering my cable's busted, it's probably a good thing I didn't sit here all day. Chafing tends to set in pretty easily.

Fixed my mother's computer.
Crashed, and then fixed my friend's network and computer.
If only I could fix my own computer (the PC, not this Smackintosh)

Last night I bought Michael Penn's 'March' CD because I'm fascinated by the song 'No Myth', and buying the CD means I never have to endure the travesty that is the movie 'Loser' (can anyone tell me what the hell Amy Heckerling was *thinking*? -- I still can't believe I paid $7.50 to see it) in order to hear this song.

'Course no cable means I might actually finish a book. But I probably shouldn't count on it. I'm reading a book about Vietnam and I've decided that Donald Rumsdale looks almost exactly like Robert McNamara. Coincidence? I think not....